The Confidence Cycle 

The Confidence Cycle 

I want you to imagine that you were able to do anything you have dreamt off, talk to anyone you want, travel by any means, achieve any position you want, build positive and productive relationships only, accept only partners that value you and respect you. Take a moment to really live this for a few seconds. Close your eyes and imagine that your mentality is strong. There is no longer “I cannot”, but lots of “How can I?” No longer “I am not good enough”, but “ I am good, I can do it”, No longer “What if I fail”, but lots of “What if I achieve what I want” 
 
Did you imagine this? If you were able to feel and think like this, where would the anxiety be? Where will the panic be? The stress? The worry? The feeling down? The feeling of lacking. 
 
This can certainly be achived, but only using the right tools. A robust sense of self-worth and self-assurance can enrich your life significantly. 
 
Although intertwined, self-esteem and self-confidence hold distinct meanings. Self-esteem reflects your capacity to recognize and honour your own value. It evolves over time through your life encounters and engagements with others. 
 
Conversely, self-confidence manifests as your trust in your capabilities and potential, varying with different scenarios. Exuding high confidence in certain situations and less in others is natural. 
 
A balanced level of self-esteem is vital to cultivate the self-assurance needed to confront life's hurdles at a personal and professional level, and engage in activities that bring you fulfilment and joy.  
 
When this is not achived, despite the evidence if you are a high achiver, you can still experience Imposter Syndrome. 
We are born free, as we grow we start having experiences that model the way we behave, adults that influence how we experience the world and how we value ourselves. We experience trauma and life circumstances that are unpleasant. Little by little we experience those uncomfortable emotions that you are so familiar with. The anxiety of feeling rejected, the feelings of not being loved, of being different to others, of not being good enough, of being an impostor no matter how many things you have achieved. 
 
You will tell me that you have been years going over the same things. Talking to friends and trying all sort of therapies to overcome these patterns, but it did not work. When you encounter a challenge it is super important to talk about it, to share it and look at it from different perspectives. This is the first step to recovery, however clients often tell me that they got hooked in talking about the same issues over and over again, going from one therapist to another. Talking about how to stop anxiety and panic may not offer great results. The truth is, that therapy without change is just a talk! Cognitive understanding of your challenge does not change your subconscious beliefs, neither your emotional responses. You may have also noticed that the more you talk about a problem, the more you focus on the problem, and the stronger the emotion becomes to the point of desperation, frustration and anger. The more you try to avoid the thought, the more it comes too. 
 
The answer is simple, talking is not enough, neither pushing things aside! There are other ways and this is why I take a totally different approach, but for now let’s see what happens when you lack confidence and experience fear. 
Here you will find a list of the difficulties that our customers have successfully solved with our help. Do not hesitate to contact us if your difficulty is not described here. 
I am not good enough 
I cannot overcome this 
Life is so hard 
I am not loved 
I can’t learn 
I am not enough 
I am an impostor 
I am not clever 
I am not capable 
I am slow 
I am not honest 
I am not valued 
I cannot progress 
I feel unappreciated 
I am not resourceful 
People will not like me 
I will be rejected 
I can't make friends. 
I better not go out. 
I am uncomfortable around people 
I do not know what to say. I am not interesting enough 
I cannot leave this relationship as I may not find anyone else that love me. 
Anxiety, low self-esteem and everything that goes along with that, quite deep-seated. Also, work-related issues. 
 
“I can assess issues and events much more rationally and focus on the positive elements of my life.” 
 
I worked with Maria mostly by Skype. I started out relatively cynical and had turned to this therapy as a last resort. I chose Maria initially because I really liked her profile and there was a warmth to her even on paper. This turned out to be exactly who she was in person – patient, knowledgeable and I was able to trust her instantly. She dispelled my cynicism by the first session and was clear about what we might be able to achieve in the sessions – no hard sell, just facts which helped to put me at ease. I have gained/achieved a lot and what was especially helpful were the mp3’s she provides to reinforce the work we have done. I’m still finding them useful, specially using self-hypnosis for anxiety. I am now able to disconnect from emotions I associate with my self-consciousness around new people. This was a real problem socially. In addition, work pressures were increasingly harder to deal with and I was struggling with basic life chores and duties – I had given up on life and was just going through the motions. With a bit of hard work as we did, I am now motivated. I can assess issues and events much more rationally and focus on the positive elements of my life of which there are many. I definitely could not have said that before the therapy. I did twelve sessions and noticed changes from day one. I will definitely recommend – yes, YES, YES! 
 
Maria, it is no exaggeration to say that you have saved my soul if not my life. You were my last resort. I wish you had been my first, but without the struggle I may not have appreciated what you have helped me achieve. 
 
Thank you 
 
Jen – Skype 
Anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, relationships, childhood issues, work issues 
 
“I realised that I AM an ok and lovable person, with much to give and skills to tap into” 
 
I was spending most days in bed, feeling unmotivated and uninterested in life. As well as benefiting from the sessions I attended, other tools provided e.g. listening to mp3 hypnotherapy files, and Maria’s warmth and encouragement helped me realise that I AM an ok and lovable person, with much to give and skills to tap into. By writing daily goals, I have rediscovered my artistic talents and am enjoying creating beaded butterflies which are symbolic of the emergence and sense of freedom I now feel. 
 
The sessions helped me realise what I can do and achieve by overcoming fear; to come to terms with painful childhood issues and to use coping skills with difficult family relationships. 
 
I feel motivated, happy and have a sense of freedom. I am now able to go out at any time of the day. 
 
Caroline Butterfly Wings – Bexhill