Have you ever achieved something significant and still felt like a fake?
You're not alone. Many high achievers experience what's known as high-functioning anxiety, a form of internal pressure that masks itself as competence while secretly fuelling self-doubt.
Let's unpack what's really going on behind the scenes of this common emotional pattern—and why it doesn't mean you're broken.
What is high-functioning anxiety?
High-functioning anxiety isn’t a clinical diagnosis, but it’s very real. It describes people who appear confident, organised, and capable, yet constantly feel like they’re not enough. They succeed because of their anxiety, not in spite of it.
Signs of high functioning anxiety include –
Constant over-preparing and overthinking
Difficulty accepting praise or compliments
A deep fear of being "found out"
Needing external validation to feel secure
Tying self-worth to productivity or output
From the outside, it looks like high standards. On the inside, it can feel like emotional exhaustion.
A story you might recognise
One of my clients, a successful project lead in the tech industry, was recently promoted to a senior role. From the outside, she looked confident, decisive, and motivated.
But privately, she told me - "Every morning I wake up hoping no one realises I'm winging it." Despite years of evidence that she was competent, her inner voice refused to believe it. What we uncovered in our sessions was not a skills gap, but a deep emotional script built around needing to prove her worth at all costs.
If that rings true for you, you’re in good company.
Why do high performers feel like frauds?
The short answer? They’re operating under outdated identity scripts.
According to research in Frontiers in Psychology, impostor feelings often arise when there's a gap between our internal self-perception and the external identity we believe others see. This disconnect creates what I call an identity dissonance loop:
Performance → Praise → Pressure → Panic → Repeat
Add a childhood script of "being the strong one" or "having to prove yourself" and you’ve got a perfect storm for silent burnout.
The neuroscience of imposter syndrome
When your brain perceives social evaluation as a threat, it activates the amygdala—the brain’s fear centre. This triggers a fight-or-flight response, even if you're just sitting in a meeting. The result? You feel unsafe being seen, even when you’re succeeding.
According to research from the University of Salzburg, repeated social stress can shrink your emotional recovery window. That’s why even small wins often get dismissed instead of celebrated.
Over time, this chronic activation reduces emotional capacity. You become brilliant at managing the external, while quietly unravelling on the inside.
How to stop feeling like a fraud (even if you're still succeeding)
Here are 5 micro-decisions to start rewiring your inner identity.
1. Anchor before action. Before your next task, ask - "Who do I want to be while I do this?" Not just what you do, but how you show up.
2. Celebrate without a caveat. Practice receiving praise with a simple "thank you" instead of minimising it.
3. Use identity-based journaling. Try this prompt - "I feel most myself when..." It helps reinforce internal validation.
4. Take a micro-pause when things go well. Let success land. Even 30 seconds of stillness helps your nervous system register safety.
5. Reframe the fear. When your voice shakes, it means you're sharing something real. That’s not weakness—that’s leadership.
You don't need to fix yourself. You need to receive yourself.
The real shift happens not when we perform harder, but when we allow ourselves to be human. You can succeed and still feel unsure. You can lead and still grow.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Join our next Beyond Limits workshop or come along to our Friday Coffee Mornings at Battersea Arts Centre. You’re also invited to *Wednesday Wisdom*—a free online session held every two weeks where we explore topics just like this in real time. Come with your questions, reflections, or just your cup of tea. You can join via my Linktree - https://linktr.ee/MariaLFuentes
Question for you - What part of you is asking to be seen this week—even if your voice is shaking?
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